I am ugly like you
by NaiveOrchrids
Summary: You think you know what pain is, you have know Idea until you've had evryone in you're family ripped away from you. This is my story of survival. Warning: Language, selfharm, deathFuture fic.
1. Sam Sam Winchester?

Okay I don't own anything except Charlie, Az, Austen, and the old lady, so don't sue

* * *

"Excuse me, Ma'am? Do you think you could warm this up for me?" The young women asked, the elderly looking one, handing her a bottle. "The little guy just won't eat the food." She stated looking down at herself.

"You look a little young to have kids?" The older women criticized.

"Oh ya, it's for my little brother. Our parents or dead so it's just my sister, him, and I." She stated with a sad smile.

"Excuse me." She said as her cell started to ring.

"Everything good?" She asked.

"There's to men outside, there picking the lock to get in." The little girl whispered into the cell.

"Okay are you and Austen out of site?"

"Yes, were in our hiding spot." She answered quivering.

"Okay stay come, I'm on my way." She answered and hung up. "I'll be right back for that. My sister scared, I'm just gonna go check up on her." She told the old women and exited the building. As she walked back to there motel room she draw her gun and took the safty off.

As she came to her room the door was open a crack, so she made her presance well nown as she kick, the already up door, even more open.

"Put you're hands up, and get on the ground!" She oreder with her gun aimed at the taller of the two.

"Can't we talk about this?" The shorter one asked, turning around to face her.

"You broke into my motel room. What is there to possibaly talk about?" She quistioned.

"For starters you could maybe lower your weapon?" He asked with a cocky grin.

"Whos to say you won't pull one, as soon as I put mine down."

"Miss..." She heard from behinder "Heres you're milk." The older women said as the younger one hid her weapon.

"Thanks. Oh thats great, really I apprecate it so much." She said offering the women a smile.

"Oh it was no trouble, I know how the little ones can be." She answered and left.

"Sit on the bed, both of you!" She ordered. Then handcuff the two very gorgous men to the hed bord.

"You two can come out now." She yelled, then two small children appeard out of nowhere. "You did good AZ, really good. I'm so proud of you." She said offering the bottle the young boy. "Do you want to feed him while I talk to the nice men?"

"YEAH!" Az answered sitting down on the othere bed, with the small boy in her arms.

"For starters who are you and what do you want?" She quistioned.

"I'm Dean and this is Sam..." Dean stopped at look on her face.

"Sam? Sammy Winchester?" She quistioned.

"Well I'll be damned. Charlie Red." He said with a smirk.

She walked over and released them from the coffs.

"Man it's been to long." She said hugging Sam.

"Am I missing something here?" Dean asked.

"The names Charlie, Charlie Red, but ya'll can call me Char." She said offering her hand to Dean. Dean took it and shock her hard, as he did his hand started to burn.

"Son-of-a-bitch!" Dean screamed as he let go.

"Watch you're mouth, boy." She said.

"Hey AZ, do you think you can handle things while I go for a little walk with Sam and Dean?" She asked the little girl.

"Ya Char. I'll call you if anything happens again."

"Thats my girl." She said ushering the boys out the door.

* * *

Five Minutes Later

* * *

"So how have you been?" Sam asked the smaller girl. She still looked as beautiful as she did way back when. Her eyes still the perfcet almond shape with beautiful emraled green eyes.

"I've been better. A lot has happened in the past couple of mouths. It's been crazy." She answered looking into his beautifull hazel eyes. The only difference between then and now was the dark shadow looming behind them.

"You? I mean I thought you were at school?" She asked coriously.

"I was. My worlds been pretty carzy it's self." He answered with a sad smile. "Um okay I have to ask, is he, I mean that little boy back there he's not..."

"Oh GOD NO!" She answered cutting of Sam "No, his my liitle, little brother." She said with a chuckle. And a wave of releafe hit Sam like a bullet, causing him chucle along with.

"So Char were are you're parents?" Dean asked.

"Dead. My mom died a few months ago and my Dad died when I was just a baby. Both burned alive, ironic eh?" She asked as her Canadian acsent came out.

"Did you say a fire?" Sam asked.

"Ya Sammy you know that my Dad died, like your mom did." She answered looking at Sam with a tear.

"So do you have any psychic abelities?" Dean asked.

"Ya, it'll explain why you're hand felt like it was on fire." She said smirking.

_'We are dirt, we are alone  
You know we're far from sober!  
We are fake, we are afraid  
You know it's far from over  
We are dirt we are alone  
You know we're far from sober!  
Look closer, are you like me?  
Are you ugly?'_

Wrang out from Chars cell phone.

"Hey Az, whats goin on?"

"The man with the yellow eyes is back." She said in to the phone.

"Can you hear her Char, can you hear her crys for you. Oh and don't think I didn't forget about little wee Austen now did you?"

"You sick son-of-a-bicth, I swear when I get my hands on you I'm gonna rip you limb from limb, then I'm light you're evil ass on fire, just so you can know the pain and anguish it is to be on **FIRE!**" She screamed into the phone.

"No wonder you got the fire power, so much anger for such a little person."

"FUCK YOU!" She screamed, as tree next to her egnited in to a huge ball of fire.

"Tsk tsk. Using such fawl laguage with children around. I really should get back to torturing them now. Oh and tell Sammy I'll be seeing him soon too." 'CLICK'

"FUCK!" She screamed over and over again until she had no voice left, for screaming.

"Hey what? Who was that?" Sam asked, worry raising as he looked in her eyes.

"His got them. He has Az and Austen!" She whispered, then bolted running as fast as her legs would take her. She ran all the way back to motel, arriving just in time to see the son-of-a-bicth leave with little baby Austen in his arms.

"NO!" She screamed running but it was to late. Then she went in search for Az.

"Az...Oh god Az." She gasped as she saw the limp body lying under the overturned beds. The room it'self looked like it went through a huricane.

"Az, come on,...Don't you dare do this to me! Don't you leave me!" She screamed tears pooring from her eyes.

"Char, come on. We're to late, she's gone." Sam whispered leaning over, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Will...will you come with...me...to burn her?" She whispered.

"Ya, ya Dean'll drive."

* * *

The drive to an empty field was silent. Sam sat there just holding Char, as Az's limb body lyed across her lap. Dean sat up front, glancimg back every once in a while just to check on Sam and Char. There was something there but Dean didn't dare ask. If Sam wanted him to know, he would tell him all in good time.

* * *

They sat in silence as Az's body burned high into the sky. Just when Char though things couldn't get any worse they always seemed to. She couldn't sit and watch anymore, so she sat and walked off a little bit, with Sam right behinder her.

"Char I'm so sorry." He said, pulling her into a hug.

"Sam he's got Austen. And I think he's coming for us next." She whispered into his chest.

"We'll help you find him. Or at least I will, okay I promise, I won't let you down this time." He said, forcing her to look at him "I promise!" He repeated looking deep in to her glassed over eyes.

"What If we never find him? I couldn't live with myself if something happened to him." She bawlled into chest.

"We will." Sam whispered, as he rubbed her back and soothed her, until she fell asleep in his arms.

* * *

Okay so ppl I'm srry I don't have anything new for a Huanting Massacre but I have this little ditty so I hope ya'll like it.

Plz read and review, you now you want to! XP


	2. It's not you're fault

I don't own Sam or Dean but I do own Char.

* * *

The sun rose the next morning, to a beautiful site. Sam and Char lying in the grass, intwined with each outher. Stealling each others body heat, to warm themselfs from the harsh fall night. She lyed there in the grip of Sam's long, protictive arms. She knew he would help her, proticte her, and save her from the grips of hell. But to her that didn't matter right now, because at the moment, she was alone. She was left to find her brother, and to let her sister's soul rest in peace. She knew her sister was in a better place, with her parents, but god her body ached to have her back. To see her smile, with the missing front tooth, from a hunt gone arye.

Sam awoke slowly to see the she was sitting of in the middle of nowhere. He went to go to her when a familier voice sounded "Leave her be. She needs space."

"And how would you know that?" Sam asked Dean rather harshly.

"Becasue, wise ass. I all ready tryed. Man that psychic ability of hers sure has some kick to it." Dean said, getting Sams attention.

"What?"

"Sam... Dude she's like you. Don't you..."

"Ya Dean I remeber. But if she used her power on you why arn't you burnt?" Sam questioned.

"Well, genious, if you let me finish I would have told you." Dean said sarcasticly.

"Told me what?" Sam said, becoming very frustrated.

"She's got more than one. Dude she's like a fucking hybrid!"

"Dude are you taking out of your ass agian?" Sam asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"No. Dude I'm telling you, she can do more than just burn things okay. It's freaky, dude I swear you got start watching who you hang out with." Dean finished.

"Dean,..." Sam said then pushed him up against the car "Don't you ever, and I mean **ever,** fucking talk about her like that! You don't know her, you don't even know what she's been through." Sam finished, letting go of Dean's jacket.

"Look dude, I get it okay. Theres big unfinished business there, but you can't protect everyone. Oh and how come I've never met her?" Dean asked with a smile.

"Dean, I hurt her more than anyone. I was gonna introduce you to her before me and Dad got in that huge fight, and I left for school. I didn't even say good-bye. It took me two weeks just to call her. God, the things she told me, I could have killed myself that night for being such a fucking idiot." Sam said turning around to face away from Dean.

"Sam what are you talking about?" Dean asked, as his 'big brother' worryed voice came out.

"The day I left, she found out she was pergant. All I could do was sit there and listen to her go on and on, about how we were so over and she would raise the baby by herself. You know what I said to her...?" Sam asked turning around to face Dean. Tears pouring down his face. "I told her to fuck off. I told her that it couldn't be mine. I told her to go and blame some other guy who doesn't have everything going for him. God, I was such an ass." As Sam was speaking realization hit him.

"Sam, what? Dude talk to me, what's going one in that brain of you'rs?" Dean questioned.

"Sam, we need to talk." Char said flattly, from behind him.

"Fucking right we need to talk! Wheres the kid? Or were you just lying to me?" Sam asked, as the venom from his words hung of in the air.

"Sam that night we talked, after you said all that stuff. I was rushed to the hospital, were I had a miss carryed." She said calmly, tears welding up in her eyes.

"You miss carryed?" Sam asked shaking "Because of what I said?"

"Yeah." She sniffed, and tryed to stiffle a sob.

"Oh god! I...I...Killed our baby!" Sam said running to her, squeezing her so tight it was hard to breath.

"No. No Sam. It wasn't you're fault. OKAY!" She said looking him straight in the eyes.

"Yes. Yes it was. If I hadn't of tol you all that shit, you wouldn't of gotten upset."

Sam, ya okay I was upset, but thats not why I was rushed to the hospital. After we had spoke I went for a drive, luckly in my Cobalt not my Firebird. But anyway I got T-Boned by a drunk driver. If some guy hadn't of come along I would have bled out." She said crying again.

"Hey you two, I really hate to break this up but, Sammy we really need to hit the road." Dean said.

"No. Sorry Dean but I have to help her find her brother. Then kill that fucking demon once and for all!"

"How you planning on doing that Sammy? We don't have the colt and we don't have any fucking leads!" Dean said, frustraited.

"Actually, thats why I was here. In town. I'd tracked it here. I wonder?" She said trailing off into her own world.

"What? You tracked it? HERE? And how were you planning on killing it?" Dean asked, very shocked.

"Um ya, well actually it tracks you, or I guess Sam. But anyway, it watches out for it's most powerful creatures, protecting them from death till it needs us. But if enough of us get together we can kill it. With the combanations of our powers." She confessed.

"It's protecting us!" Sam exclaimed, as the formiliar throbbing behind his eye's began.

"Kind of. The important ones anyway. He's coming for us, all of us. So I want you to go with Dean. Are you okay man?" She asked, as a look of sheer pain came across Sams face.

"Ya I...ahhh...I just need to sit down." He said grabbing his head. And at that Dean was at his side.

"Okay come on lets go sit in the car." Dean said comfortingly, leading Sam to the car.

"Dean, atke him far from here. It's gonna come back for me, and I don't want it to have Sammy, and I know you don't want that either." She said to him after the very limp Sam was set in the car.

"So you're welling to just had you'rself over to it?" Dean asked confussed.

"Dean, he has my brother! The only family I have left. So ya I think I am." She answered.

"Look come with us. Come and hunt with us, and we can kill when were ready." Dean said, very unlike Deanly. But it was for Sam.

"I couldn't do that. I'd slow you guys down. My hunting style is very different then others. And what would I do with my baby?"

"What?" Dean asked very confussed.

"My car, you idiot!" She said, sarcasticly "I can't just leave her here."

"Um DRIVE it. I can't fet everything in the trunk. And I sure as hell not having and of you're femanin crap in my car." He said.

"Dean..." Sam crocked.

* * *

Okay so theres chapter two, I know not much Dean action yet, but trust me there will be plenty. So review and tell me what you think, oh and srry it took so long, I hadn't relived it had taken that long. Anyway click the little butten you know you want to... 


	3. Pain

I don't own, you don't sue.

* * *

"Sammy, I'm right here man." Dean said, rushing back to the car. "What did you see?"

"I saw...Oh god Dean...Dude this just isn't normal." Sam screetched out.

"Sam what did yousee?" Dean asked again, more ferm.

"Dean I saw you die, again." Sam said tears rolling down his cheeks.

"How Sammy, how did I die this time?" Dean asked, like it was a game. But for Dean it almost had grown into a game.

"Dean don't push him." Char chimed in, standing behind him.

"I think I know what to do when my brother has a vision. Thank you very much, little miss this." Dean said flipping her the bird.

"Do you Dean? Look at aguish on his face. Look at the pain in his eyes. Give the kid a little time to pull himself together." She said, totally ignoring the symbol.

"Will both of you shut up. My head hurts enough as it is." Sam said ending it before anythimg else could happen "Dean you're not gonna like this."

"Dude if I die, am I really supposed to like it?" Dean asked with a cocked eyebrow.

"No. But um I saw you die of massive heat strock." Sam said almost laughing, if it hadn't of ment that Dean could die.

"OH. And I wonder who brought that on?" Dean said turning to look at Char.

"Hey I couldn't kill a person. Thats just wrong, and evil might I add." She answered, switching into diffence.

"Well then what could have?" Dean asked, turning to look at Sam again.

"I really don't feel comforatble answering that question." Sam said blushing.

"Well, to bad Sammy, 'casue I'm not all that comfortable with dying. So spill, what kills me?" Dean said, as sarcasticly as possible.

"Um...Well...you...um okay get in here." Sam said moving over so Dean could get in beside him.

"What the fuck Sam?" Dean asked as he clossed the door.

"You kind of walk in on me..." Sam was unable to finish the sentence.

"I walk in on you, and I die of heat stork? I don't know Sammy, that sounds pretty un-believable, even to me." Dean said.

"Well If you'd let me finish. You walk in on me and Char, having..." Sam took a deep breathe and sighed "Sex!" He finished.

Dean just sat there. Shocked by what he had just heard.

"What? I can have sex. I just choose not to." Sam answered the blank stair he was receaving from Dean.

"I know." Dean said blinking, trying to focus his eyes on Sammy. "I just...man I have the worst luck!"

"Ya. You really do." Sam said blushing "Well we better go and make sure she didn't run off." Sam said motioning for Dean to open the door.

"Everything alright?" She questioned.

"Um ya, peachy. So Dean was telling me that you can do more than light things on fire." Sam questiond

"Ya, um I can start fires, and have like this telekinesis thing." She answered, and shrugged it off like it was no big deal.

"This telekinesis thing! You've got to be kidding me right?" Dean asked her, just about to fly of his handle.

"It's no big deal. It just happenes when I get really upset about something." She answered. "Well I should really be going on my way."

"What? No way! Either you come with us or we'll leave with you! You're choice." Sam answered putting his foot down.

"Still fisty are we Sammy? Well by the looks of things, it's more like a kidnapping." She answered with a smirk.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked, dropping his gaze to his feet. "I just want to make things right."

"Sam, look at me. I'm alright, the only thing that I care about right now is getting my kid brother back. I know you want to go back in time and change things, I do too, but we can't. Sorry Sammy but I'm just afraid to let you in and I'm scared you to would slow me up." She said her voice ripe with emotion.

"Look kid, I don't care. If Sammy wants you to come fucking with us, well sweet heart you're coming!" Dean said, trying to protect Sam from the heart ache of this pain.

"Sam... I..."She tryed to say then sighed and tryed again. "Do you know how much pain I'm in everyday from the accident? Do you understand that our daughter is dead! Do you understand that even looking at you kills me, even more than I already am! Dean if you ever come back from the dead again you can live of my time, cause I've been dead since September 20th!"

"Hey! Do NOT take this out on him. Don't blame him for the fact that you can't keep your panties on and your legs crossed!" Dean yelled, _'How dare she blame Sammy for her problems!'_ Dean screamed at himself.

"No Dean. It's fine, she's right. I mean I don't even disserve what little time she's given me considering everything I put her through." Sam said looking Dean straight in the eye.

"Fuck sakes Sam! We'll talk about this on the way to the motel. I still need to get to my car, my baby." She answered pushing past them both and getting in the back seat.

"Dean you might want to hurry up, before she hotwires yours!" Sam said scrambling to get to the passenger side.

"Fuck what a fucking soap opera!" Dean said to no one inparticaly.

* * *

I wrote this chapter listening to Crossfade, so don't blame me for the angst, even though it so rox! 


	4. Daddy Dearest

I don't own, ya'll don't sue.

* * *

The ride back to the motel was quite, until Dean opened his big mouth. "So how did you two meet?" He asked.

"18th birthday party. That was a good night, eh Sammy?" She answered.

"Oh man, I got so plastered that night. You looked amazing that night!" He said turning to look at her.

"Dude I know. I also remember how you threw up all over my poor car." she said laughing.

"You beat me so bad that night and morning and..."

"Thats enough Sammy. I don't need to know." Dean said cutting Sam off.

"You asked." He answered raising his eyebrows. "So how long ago did you'r dad die?"

"Um three mounths ago, give or take a day. It doesn't bother me to much you know how close dearest daddy and I were."

"Arn't all little girls daddies favorite?" Dean asked.

"Dean for once keep your big mouth shut." Sam hissed.

"It's alright Sam. If Dean here wants to hear my grusome, disturbing, hell raising past than, alright." She said before taking in a deep breath. "After my mom died my dad got a taste for the bottle, a little to much. Started to drink more and more. He always blamed me for my mothers death, which in some fucked up way is my fault. But anyway then he finally found my step-mother, wicked witch of my nightmares, is what I used to call. Well you can only imagine what a red hot temper and alchol can do when mixed together, well take it and multiply it by 10. I was beaten 3 times a day, at the least, and raped at least once a month sometimes twice. Because like I said in some fucked up way I killed my mopther, and he was punishing me for my sins. If Az hadn't been born I'd be dead right know, or in jail for murder."

Dean just sat there, stairing out the window. He didn't even know what to say.

"There it is. You asked, I told. You still want to know?" She asked from the back seat, tears forming in her eyes.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I can't even imagne what that would have been like." Dean finally spoke, finding his voice.

"Yeah well, just don't take this for granteted. It might not be much but it's all each of you have." She spoke as he pulled up beside her car.

"You don't have to do this alone. Me and Dean, we can help." Sam pleaded with her.

"Sam I can't let my emotions get the better of me. I'll drop my gard if you come with me. But I don't think I do this by myself." She said looking him strait in the eye.

"We'll fallow behind you. I'm not leave Sam and I'm not leaving my car, so looks like you got to stubborn ass along with yours." Dean said, as she got out of the car.

"K, here's the plan. We're gonna make a stop at the roadhouse talk to Ash. Then we hit the road in search of my baby brother and the sick motherfucker!" She spoke into the car through Deans half rolled down window.

* * *

Fuck that was hard! Bare with me ppl, I'm having serious writers block with all my stories! So pissed about it! Reviews please, they might help. 


	5. Authors Note

**Just thought I'd tell ya'll that I've decided to make the next part of the story a sequal type thing. I should have the the first chapter up sometime over the next two weeks, I think I'm gonna call it "Finding of which was lost."**


End file.
